Raising Kids Who Know Their Worth

How are you approaching raising a resilient child in this day and age?

As a parent, if I’m not careful, I find myself becoming anxious about what the future holds for my child. I’ve learned that’s just a part of parenthood. Instinctively we want to protect and prepare them for whatever comes their way.

But how do we prepare our children for battles we don’t even know are coming? So much has changed from one generation to the next, and it continues to change.

Many of us didn’t grow up in families where we talked openly about mental health. It was something we learned to navigate over time, if we learned at all.

But we’ve watched that change from generation to generation. And the younger generations? Whew, they’re pretty self-aware. They’re not afraid to say when something is affecting them mentally.

Conversations around mental health have become more open and accepted. And while we all navigate our own mental health, I appreciate that conversations how these coversations have evolved.

We’re learning that mental health is not always something to be fixed but something to be supported.

Avoiding the conversation doesn’t make feelings or struggles disappear. It’s unrealistic to think that we can prevent our children from ever struggling at all.

What we can do is create a safe space where children can talk and learn to handle difficult experiences.

So rather than trying to protect our children from every difficult experience, part of our job is giving them the tools and foundation they need to navigate those experiences when they come.

I’m not a mental-health professional, but here are five practices we practice in our household that have helped our family

1. Create a Judgment-Free Zone

While our kids are our kids, they’re also human. And no human wants to be judged. I've always tried to build a judgment-free zone at home. I think that’s one of the most important things we can give our children. And while I’m sure there will come a time when my child doesn’t tell me everything, I think that’s okay. The goal isn’t to have answer for all their questions. It’s to earn trust by showing up consistently, so that when they do need someone, they know they can come to me.

Rather than correcting or trying to fix things right away, I listen. I also talk openly about hard topics. Another thing I’ve implement is naming my own feelings. Everyday interactions help create a relationship where our children know they can be heard.

2. Build Predictable Routines

If you’re Type A, this one will probably resonate with you.

Build routines. As a parents, I used to tricked into believing our household needed an elaborate schedule and a color-coded calendars. But it didn't. We just needed consistency. A consistent bedtime and morning routine reduced the uncertainty of the day, and it mattered more than I thought.

It doesn't need to be a lot. Just take it step by step. Pick one or two habits that you can practice and go from there.

3. Practice Affirmations Together

Don’t sleep on affirmations.

Affirmations are positive statements that we tell ourselves about who we’re becoming.

It simple, but it helps children develop an internal voice that is kind rather than critical. Honestly, adults should do them as well.

Affirmations can be as simple as:

“I am capable.”

“I am kind.”

“I can handle hard things.”

“I can ask for help.”

“I don’t have to be perfect.”

It isn't to convince our children that everything will always be easy. It’s to help them help them trust that they can handle life’s challenges.

4. Make Self-Care Part of Everyday Life

Self-care isn’t only for parents. Introduce the idea to children early with age-appropriate activities.

For children, self-care can be quiet time or outdoor play. These intentional practices can help children become more aware of their emotional and physical needs, which goes a long way in life. And this applies both ways.

As parents and caregivers, we must prioritize our own self-care as an example to our children.

We can tell our kids to take care of themselves all day long, but they’re also watching what we do.

5. Prioritize Representation

Seeing themselves reflected in books, media, toys, and the people around them plays an important role in a child’s confidence and sense of belonging.

Representation helps children understand that their experiences, their families, their features, their cultures, and their stories belong in the world around them. It shows them, what's possible. Who they might become. And where they "belong".

I believe everyone has the right to see themselves reflected through imagery that matches their distinct identity and cultural heritage, especially children.

We're all different and learning as we go, so naturally, there is no single way to approach mental health.

What's important is that we start somewhere and create the space for our children to talk. And that we listen.

We may not be able to prepare our children for every battle they’ll face. But we can help them know that when those battles come, they don’t have to face them alone.

So, how does your family approach conversations around mental health? What has worked for you?